Lifestyle strategist Kierra Asnauskas of Miss Unconventional taught us during the Nurses Week Quarantine Retreat last week that "a goal is a promise you make to yourself." Keeping your promises to yourself is an act of integrity. It is showing yourself love and respect.
"I am a woman of integrity. I keep my promises to myself." - Kierra Asnauskas
This was a powerful message, because I had never thought about it like that. She pointed out how easy it is for us to keep our commitments to our employers, friends, family and everyone we respect except for ourselves.
We set health goals we do not keep. How many of us have had "summer body" goals for as many summers as we can remember?
We set business goals we do not keep. How many of us have a business idea, blog, or sidehustle we've been meaning to start? We put it on our vision board, we write it down. Some of us even get started, but we don't follow through.
Oh, and what about that pesky "habit" we've been meaning to kick? It could be a bad relationship, an overindulgence in social media, gossiping, or even something more serious like an addiction.
When we don't show ourselves integrity, it shows up in many ways in our lives:
Lack of Boundaries
Comparison and Envy of Others
General Unhappiness with Life
Nurses are caring and compassionate by nature, so why do nurses also have the highest burnout rate? Yes, it is a very high-stress job. In addition to that, my guess is that part of it is because we don't show ourselves the same love that we show to others.
What if you showed yourself the same love, grace, and patience that you show your patients? What if you showed yourself the same commitment, follow-up and follow-through that you show your bestie? What if you showed yourself the same respect, quality time, and devotion that you show to your family?
Some ways that you can show yourself integrity:
Follow Through on the Goals You Set: Pick a goal and follow it through to completion. Often we have many, many goals, and the thought of following them through to completion is overwhelming. Just pick one. Small steps will make you feel more accomplished.
Set Healthy Boundaries with Others: Resentment comes in when we are doing for others at the detriment to ourselves. It is OK to be helpful. It is fine to be a great friend/spouse/family member. However, many of us find ourselves being that "go-to" person with no one to go to. Limit yourself to things that you have the mental capacity for. There is likely a lot going on with you at work during this time. You may not have the head space for family members to vent to. That is OK. Let them know that with all love and respect, you can not be the sounding board right now.
Do Not Compare Yourself. Stay in Your Own Lane: Comparison is the enemy of progress. She is not you sis, and you are not her. I loved hearing everyone's goals during Nurses Week! Not one goal was exactly the same. Sure, many wanted to start a business, blog or podcast. However, no one wanted to start the exact SAME business, blog or podcast. There is space for you if you stay in your lane.
Get Rid of Things That Make You Unhappy: If something is bringing you continued stress and unhappiness, let it go. You are not obligated to stay in spaces that drain you. You are not obligated to be around people who don't value or respect you. Is it time to change that job? Right now may seem like a scary time to do this, but this might be the perfect time. Is it time to let go of some relationships or friendships? You deserve all of the happiness in the world. In fact, you OWE it to yourself! No one can commit to you like you can.
How different would your life looked if you committed to yourself every single day? Drop a comment and let us know where you plan to show up for yourself this week.
If you are struggling with setting goals and committing to yourselve, be sure to contact Miss Unconventional to help you out!